(written in journal on Dec. 31, 2019)

Romans 12:1
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

My mom mentioned this verse to me in Taiwan, and God used it to convict me. Of course I had read this verse numerous times and had encountered the idea that my body was a living sacrifice, but it has rarely been a reality in the past year.

I realized how concerned I am with my desires and feelings. So much of my energy is spent making sure I have the right experience, see the right thing at the right time, or eat exactly the right food. My energy is chiefly spent on seeking to satisfy my worldly cravings– which is hardly sacrificial.

My father stands in stark contrast to this. He largely lays down any or all of his inclinations or comforts in favor of the wishes of everyone else in the family. He would actively seek that our wishes are met. And his countenance never betrays any begrudging sentiment. He sacrifices with joy.

I hope to practice such sacrificial living after his example– “to present my body as a living sacrifice.” God’s mercy is able to make me do it. I am thankful for his abundant mercy through much rebellion and depression this year. I am so undeserving; still, He is steadfast in mercy.

To the end of making nothing of myself that Christ may be my true joy and thus be exalted, I would make some resolutions that only God’s grace and mercy can help me keep.

  1. To read my Bible every day, no matter the form or time.

  2. To pray for 阿公’s salvation daily.

  3. Lead Helen & me in some sort of devotion regularly.

  4. Finish the Bible in this calendar year.

  5. Read a certain amount of books in this calendar year (tbd)